Undeleted

*shakes fist vigorously*

So we’re at a 90% chance of getting tornadoes tonight after 9pm. THIS IS A SHOUTOUT FOR MY TUMBLR FRIENDS WHO LIVE NEAR THIS BEAUTIFUL REGION. 

9:9 hahahahaaa math so funny. right after a friday the 13th, too. 

THE JOOOOOYS OF KAAANSAS

and you fucking facepalm because you realized that it’s still only tuesday

And there he is, in his room. Crying his eyes out. Wailing like a banshee.

This feels fucking horrible. 

I’ve been living here in KS for a full year now, and I’m still not used to this deathly silence at night.

It’s fucking scary, ok? I now fall asleep to the sound of my own heart beating. It’s…disturbing. 

Green food is stocked up.

Lunch? Pita bread stuffed with baby romaines, spinach and hummus, some mini rice cakes on the side and green tea to sponge it all up in my gut.

Moo. 

My body reacted negatively to the weaning of the steroids. They put me back on an even stronger dose because this morning I woke up completely swollen, from head to toe; my wedding ring was almost cutting off my circulation. It was bad. They gave me 10m of epinephrine at the ER, antihistamines in pills and shots. I found it to be a miracle that I was able to drive home without crashing into a stop sign or something. The world is a very interesting place to be in when your senses are cranked up to oblivion and your motor skills are dumbed down low. 

Anyway, my mother gave me the list of the things I used to be allergic to when I was a child (which is an extensive list; will post bellow). Even though at the age of eleven or twelve I was re-tested and proved to have immunized myself against most of the items, right now, at the wonderful and still very young age of twenty-three, my body gave up on immunizing it again. As of last night, I’m on a strict diet of eating only potatoes and carrots until the swelling goes down and my body can detox whatever I had consumed that poisoned me. Thankfully, my throat hasn’t swelled up. I have been able to breathe this entire time, even if it’s a bit sore due to the cold that I’m battling as well. Hopefully, next tuesday’s allergist appointment will be lucrative and straight to the point, because I don’t think my body can take anymore waiting. If I already have a list and record of foods and items I was allergic to when younger, when my allergies had taken over my entire life-style, I see little to no point in re-testing me extensively. I’m praying that the allergist will see that this is a god damned emergency, and I’m sick and tired of my health crippling me of moving forward and getting shit done in my life. 

My mother refused having me live a bubble-child life-style, and I will refuse to go through it now. I don’t have that motherfucking luxury. 

The list of things I cannot consume or be around are: 

Yellow banana (or any fruit that has ripened), oranges, passion fruit, pineapple, strawberries, olives, avocados, sesame seeds, almonds, cashews, coconut, peanuts, pecans, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, (does not include oils, only raw seeds; any kind of nut), bleached or processed rice, eggplant, peppers, tomatoes, oatmeal, garbanzo coffee(chick pea coffee), eggs, swiss cheese, ricotta cheese, plain yogurt, (whole milk products) pork, cigarettes, chocolate, nothing canned, shellfish, white bread, fish, yellow cheese (or cheese with food coloring—nifty fact: any and all yellow cheeses have food coloring lulz) sodas and carbonated beverages, no fermented beverages, such as beer and wine, nothing with preservatives, no instant foods and yeast. Drink nothing cold. Everything warm or room temperature. Anything with aluminum, stored in aluminum, cooked in aluminum or containing. 

Things I can consume/be around: 

Cranberries, lime, lemon, mandarin oranges, grapefruit, melons, watermelon. Any kind of bean, chick peas, kidney beans, soy, lentils, ext., sour cream, potatoes, whole grain rice, uncle bens rice (which is usually unprocessed), any brand unprocessed rices, fat-free cream cheese, soy cheese, vegetarian meats, spinach, cucumber, any spice of condiment such as parsley, rosemary, bay leafs, cumin, oregano, green beans, lettuce, roman lettuce, cabbage, onions, garlic, celery, any kind of root, like sweet potato, ext, pumpkins, green bananas, corn, carrots, any kind vegetable, like asparagus, broccoli…wheat, barley, whole grain bread, granola, rice cakes, whole grain pastas, regular wheat pastas, skim milk, queso fresco(organic and fresh cheese), cottage cheese, mozzarella cheese, fat free yogurt, cilantro, culantro, dandelion, oregano, sweet peppers, mushrooms, vanilla. Turkey, kosher meat, calf meat, pita bread, tortillas, carrot powder (chocolate substitute). Oh, and meat? It’s like a treat. I can eat it once a week/month. As little as possible. 

You can scratch out the fruit. I hate fruit. I was forced to eat it when little and now all it does is make me wanna hurl. So, on the upside, this new diet will probably have me losing, give or take, about 5 pounds a week. I may also qualify for super vegan psychic powers. Other than that, yeah. Huge massive update. Still pumped up to the brim on chemicals, so I’ll type up an update when…I see any positive feedback actually happen. 

Because truth is, I feel terrible. My stomach feels so tender and weak, as if I swallowed a bunch of rocks, and they keep scratching and peeling away at my insides, and they have no exit route. It makes me feel heavy, weak and numb. 

Sigh. Just a few bit more days. Hang in there. 

OH MY GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE. IT’S AN EPIDEMIC OF CRETINS. EVERYWHERE. 

Now I just have to come to terms with said conclusion and accept, and, maybe, somehow… find a way to work around it.