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The fact that we are under a tornado watch is enough to make anyone nervous. Add cats that are nervous and keep looking for places to hide? Bonafide terror.

TO FIND SOBA NOODLES IN THIS KANSAS AREA. I JUST WANNA EAT SOBA NOODLE AND TOFU STIR FRY. MAYBE SOME AVOCADOES DICED ON IT. MAYBE. 

BUT I CAN’T FIND A PLACE ANYWHERE THAT SELLS IT. BUNCH OF KOREAN SHIT STORES THAT SELL ME CHOW MEIN NOODLES. DID I ASK FOR CHOW MEIN. NO. LQWAKJSFFNBKHJSBBDFHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

So I’m pretty sure I’ve ranted a lot about my bitching neighbors. Today I asked a favor of her—and she denied. I won’t pin down every single time that I’ve helped her when she’s needed, because this rant won’t ever end. But yeah. I asked her just now for a tiny favor. Denied. Ok. Cool.

I was sitting outside with Johnny just chilling, and I smell something burning. I look to my neighbor’s house, and there was a little birds nest inside her porch light. It was smoking. I sent her a text to let her know, and she just came down and started picking the nest out. The thing caught on fire. She started freaking out. The lightbulb burst. She started flailing and screaming for her husband to “be a man” and do something (Because her screaming it in the middle of the street while she fought with her husband so the entire neighborhood could hear her clearly wasn’t enough). Since all they were doing were chucking cups of water at it, Johnny grabbed the hose and took the fire out. 

I think this whole “I just fucking saved your ungrateful, immature and stupid asses” thing is very funny. Because if Johnny and I weren’t chilling outside, that nest would have caught on fire and burned the electric wires and who knows what else would have gone down. Then my neighbor had the gall to say “Maria, you’re unlucky, because the ghosts also appear when your around”. I just stared at them and LITERALLY said “Are you serious right now? If anything, I’m the luckiest charm you will ever fucking get. Not only did I inform you of a fire before it happened, but I’m the only one who keeps her shit under control whenever you’re spooked about a stupid haunting. You should be kissing my ass right now.” and he just chuckled and kept cleaning the burned rubble.

…I really fucking hate it here, and I really fucking hate the locals. I should have let them all fucking burn. 

Freaked out my three cats. My feet are now bloodied. They fucking scaled up my legs and up on my shoulder and underneath my shirt.

What the fucking fuck, cats. 

I finally found something awesome about Kansas— The HUGE amount of thrift stores and antique shops. I think I went to KC and back and visited about… 15? Oh goodness I don’t know. But tomorrow, I shall venture onwards. 

ALSO—stores here close around 9. What is this madness? 9pm? Seriously? It’s like you want me to go broke. aksjdfkasjdfasdf

It’s still hours away from where I live, Leavenworth, but still. I hope no one in Wichita gets seriously hurt.

So we’re at a 90% chance of getting tornadoes tonight after 9pm. THIS IS A SHOUTOUT FOR MY TUMBLR FRIENDS WHO LIVE NEAR THIS BEAUTIFUL REGION. 

9:9 hahahahaaa math so funny. right after a friday the 13th, too. 

THE JOOOOOYS OF KAAANSAS

I’ve been living here in KS for a full year now, and I’m still not used to this deathly silence at night.

It’s fucking scary, ok? I now fall asleep to the sound of my own heart beating. It’s…disturbing.