The husband of one of my neighbors has got to be one of the most “by the book” christians I have ever met. His profile picture on FB is Jesus on the cross. His status updates are hourly praises and phrases from the Bible. He also forced his wife to convert christian from muslim, brainwashing her, telling her that terrible things happened to her in life because she was in the “wrong” religion and “God was angry at her”. He also wants her to be skinny. He doesn’t want her to study. He wants her to bear more children. He controls what she drinks and how much she drinks. When she speaks her mind, he criticizes her and laughs at her. To quote from his FB status celebrating her birthday “…I will never find any woman who makes me laugh the most with her silly little thoughts and words.”
I fucking hate my motherfucking neighborhood.
What is this sorcery!?
Lately, with this vegetarian diet, OD on steroids and antihistamines, low immune system… I’ve become such a cheap date.
I am ok with this.
Pretty soon come the drunk side-effects because I do intend to keep on drinking, because it’s been over three months since I ingested any kind of liquor.
I should stay away from the internet from this post on.
They literally take it as if they ripped your favorite part out of a book, crumbled it, scrunched it up into a ball, stretched it out, crumbled it again, stretched it out, tore it up into pieces and then burned it.
That’s exactly what it felt like.
In the mornings, I always turn on Pandora Radio, and I have a Disney Music station that’s pretty awesome. While I was washing off the morning dishes, the Peter Pan classic “We Can Fly” was playing. So here I am, singing, doing the dishes, when suddenly I hear Diego sing along “HE CAN FLY, HE CAN FLY, MOMMY, I CAN FLY!” followed by a THUMP. In this moment, I think I puked out my heart as I ran to the living room, to find him whimpering on his big tiger pillow. Apparently, he leapt from the couch and landed on said pillow; it broke his fall, but it still hurt him a bit. The recovery-snuggles only lasted about thirty seconds, because afterwards, he hopped off my lap, and proceeded to jump from the couch onto the pillow, singing “I CAN FLY, I CAN FLY, I CAN FLY, I CAN FLY!”
So! Achievement unlocked! Peter Pan complex!
Y U ASK ME AUTHENTICATOR CODE WHEN I AM LEAST SOBER. YOU GUYS NEVER ASK ME IT. WHY NOW. WHY NOW, GOD DAMN IT. YOU ARE DRUNK, WORLD OF WARCRAFT. CURSE YOU.